We had never been more than friends."I'll walk you home" he offered."Thanks" I said. We walked on and chatted about this and that. Our families and wo...k things like that. Then he asked about my boyfriend. I froze. "We broke up last week. I don't really want to talk about it." I said as we turned into a dark lane that was a few streets away from my house. Ray stopped smiling and frowned."He was a scumbag anyway. I always knew you could do better." Ray was always the protective friend. "If only I. A lot of stuff has been happening. But since my last post. This has probably been my favorite moment since. So here you goMe and My Fuck buddy were out together one day. We were trying to get our hands on some alcohol. Now her BF was on a business trip for a few days, and this was roughly day 2 of his trip when she wanted to do some fun. How her BF hasn't found out about me and her fucking around behind his back is beyond me. But anyway. We were in her car when we came up to our local gas. I close my eyes and focus to try and paint a picture again. You’re undressing her, she laughs and says to take it slow, you’ve got all night. You don’t respond for a moment. You giggle and agree. You’re kissing again. She’s moaning. I can’t hear what you’re doing so I have to fill it in, you slide your right hand up her thigh and bring it to rest on her waist, your left hand cupping her breast. You move her bra downward and pinch her nipples between you thumb and forefinger. She moans again.. .. and in my defense, I did sort of have a terror demon rampaging through my head.” I paused, rolling my eyes at myself for the non-sequitur. Alistair shifted to his side, looking towards me expectantly though I doubted he could see much in the dim corner where I sat.“It told me you would never love me again, and I couldn’t get those thoughts out of my head. You’re wrong though. It wasn’t ever you I didn’t trust. It was always me, always thinking that I didn’t deserve you, that you should leave.
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